A lil boy came to me one day shyly
So tiny and small
With a big bright eyes
He held my hands and asked me
"Will you be my beloved"
I laughed and asked
"What can I do for you"
Rolling his big eyes, he said
"Just say yes and I'll do wonders"
The look in his eyes made me say 'Yes'
He played with his friends
And searched for me now and then
Every one praised him for doing something good
And a pair eye turn to my side for approval
He did good at his studies
And told his friends that his beloved is his everything
He started a business
And looked at me for acknowledgement
He pursued higher studies
And believes his beloved is with him
We walked in the sun
We climbed a small hill as if it were the hardest thing to do
We sat for hours together in a thenanthoppu
We told ghost stories
We counted stars at night
We giggled for nothing
We discussed Osho, JK, Vivek
We argued on culture
We fought over things of unimportance to both of us
We cried together for his only brother's demise
We wrapped up his brother's things
And laughed out loud for nothing
He would send me nice greetings
Just to say how much he loves me
He would alter my photos
To say that he thinks of me all the time
He would email me regularly
Without expecting my replies
He would send his conversations with his girl friends
And wait for my acknowledgement
He would call me for suggestions
Though he knows that I donot know the subject
He would educate me on things
That I don't even cared in the past to know about
He sent me an email one day
I called him
He didn't talk much but kept smiling throughout and at last said
"I got my energy"
I got the meaning of it when he proudly sent me another email
"I got a scholarship"
I realized that
This lil boy has taken me as his
Beloved, guide, philosopher, mentor
What did I do to deserve this lil boy's love?
I am not sure.
But I thank God everyday
That I said 'yes' to my beloved boy who found me.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
A lil boy came to me one day shyly
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Another interesting topic for me. As long as I live, this question will always linger in my mind. Why is such a split in our lives? We create this split. We split the breathing into inhale and exhale. In essence it is nothing but breathing. We split pain and pleasure. We split love and hate. We split everything. Human mind enjoys splitting things. Duality!! We created this duality and make it exist in everything.
There is just oneness. Oneness with everything! No day or no light. No sun set or sun rise. No beginning and no end. Oneness! Duality is illusion. We enjoy creating illusion.
So.. how do we enjoy oneness? When will this duality dissolve into oneness? Nature has given us all the opportunity to go within ourselves to find this oneness. The moment of thoughtlessness; the moment of stillness; the moment of being everything. How to achieve this? There is nothing to achieve. Be like a child. Child only knows the present. It doesn’t care about past. It doesn’t think about future. All it cares is present. Be like a child. Be in the present. Get in touch with the inner being. Be in the completeness.
I am not promising that when you are in the present, you will not experience pain or suffering. You will. That is how we are created. However, if we are in present or non-dual sense, we will experience a profound peace of mind in pain and suffering.
I don’t believe in God.
I was in search of God when I was 13. I searched, searched and searched. Why do we even have go to 'certain' places to meet God when God is everywhere? Well, do you think there are some places not good enough for God to be in?
Then one fine day I found that there is no way to find God who has always been here, and everywhere and within everyone. God is you, I and every one around you.
We keep asking God something or other. But that is like saying that we know ourselves better than God. And we always think that we know better what is good for us.
The only thing I can talk about are the moments when I feel closer to Him. These glimpses of God happen as a sudden feeling of unlimited unconditional love. It's a love of such an intensity that it feels like I am going to burst into hundreds and thousands of pieces if I don't get to hug somebody at that very moment. Sometimes, these moments come when I get closer to pure nature; When I am one with the nature; When I lie down on a green lawn and feel the smell of the earth with my whole body; When I breathe deep and realize how tender it is to breathe and how amazing it is that it happens without our doing anything about it; When I see leaves dances to the rhythme of wind; When the roaring noise of the sea penetrates deep into my soul and draws me into it without me asking for it;
Yes. I don’t believe in God. Why do I need to believe in something that I feel so strong about? I don't believe in God, because there is no need to believe. I can feel the presence of God. But why to even use the word 'God'. I am trying to name the force within me and around me that leads to so much love, so much hate, so much pain.